There's a reason it has taken me 16 months to relate my London adventures, you see I really did not enjoy my stay in the city. There, I admitted it, although hating London is probably considered a sin by my sister-in-law who has visited on numerous occasions and loves all things British. She obviously sees something there that I don't. So I've made a new rule that since we've enjoyed other parts of England together, when or rather IF I return to London, she has to be with me. :-)
It didn't help that I flew into jolly ole' England after spending a week in the beautiful country of Slovenia. Ljubljana, the capital city, has an abundance of charm that most cities lack. Suffice it to say, London was a huge shock after spending 5 days mellowing with the laid back Slovenians. The flight to England was uneventful, but the bus ride from Stanstead Airport was a full 117 minutes longer than I had anticipated. That put me into the city well after 8:30 pm, and if you've traveled with me at all you know that I will get lost in an unfamiliar city. Sigh.
The entire ordeal was made slightly worse by having to haul my luggage around with me as I wandered in and out of tube stops trying to decipher my map. It must have been written in Greek because I never could figure out how to read it... I asked for help repeatedly and was pointed in numerous different directions by people who understood Greek. Finally, after I had wandered around for almost 2 hours and it was dark and cold outside, I plopped myself in front of a subway worker and promptly burst into tears. He produced a handy yellow highlighter, explained that my stop had the same name as a different stop (why????) and calmed me down, ever so concerned at the scene I was causing. I gave him a watery smile, squeaked out my gratitude and proceeded to dry my tears, gather my courage and follow the yellow-brick road to my hotel.
You would be more impressed if you could have smelled the noxious odor it emitted. The shared bathroom down the hall was just slightly better than the gas station bathrooms I usually avoid. The loo did not like to flush and the shower barely put out any water. But those were typical of Europe and I knew I could live with that for one day. At least the room was affordable, the staff friendly and the computer free! (Read: Pessimist trying to pretend that the glass is half full.)
That's not to say that I didn't enjoy aspects of the city,because I did. I was especially excited to see the Tower of London, even though trying to gaze at the Crown Jewels while standing on an automatic walkway was beyond annoying. I had to ride that walkway several times to do justice to all of those rather large, glittering jewels! But outside the sky was an amazing shade of blue, the flowers were in bloom and the weather was nearly perfect, London definitely smiled on me in that respect.
It didn't help that I flew into jolly ole' England after spending a week in the beautiful country of Slovenia. Ljubljana, the capital city, has an abundance of charm that most cities lack. Suffice it to say, London was a huge shock after spending 5 days mellowing with the laid back Slovenians. The flight to England was uneventful, but the bus ride from Stanstead Airport was a full 117 minutes longer than I had anticipated. That put me into the city well after 8:30 pm, and if you've traveled with me at all you know that I will get lost in an unfamiliar city. Sigh.
The entire ordeal was made slightly worse by having to haul my luggage around with me as I wandered in and out of tube stops trying to decipher my map. It must have been written in Greek because I never could figure out how to read it... I asked for help repeatedly and was pointed in numerous different directions by people who understood Greek. Finally, after I had wandered around for almost 2 hours and it was dark and cold outside, I plopped myself in front of a subway worker and promptly burst into tears. He produced a handy yellow highlighter, explained that my stop had the same name as a different stop (why????) and calmed me down, ever so concerned at the scene I was causing. I gave him a watery smile, squeaked out my gratitude and proceeded to dry my tears, gather my courage and follow the yellow-brick road to my hotel.
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That's not to say that I didn't enjoy aspects of the city,because I did. I was especially excited to see the Tower of London, even though trying to gaze at the Crown Jewels while standing on an automatic walkway was beyond annoying. I had to ride that walkway several times to do justice to all of those rather large, glittering jewels! But outside the sky was an amazing shade of blue, the flowers were in bloom and the weather was nearly perfect, London definitely smiled on me in that respect.
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And then there are the loos. Oh how I wish you could have seen the sour, unamused look on the bathroom attendant's face as I laughingly snapped this photo:
With the exception of said bathroom attendant, those British folks have a heck of a sense of humor! Giggle with me as you picture the annual "Loo Awards" ceremony. Attendees dressed in their best formal attire, glamorous hair, perfect makeup, dazzling jewels, dapper tuxes, smiling and posing for the paparazzi while trailing little pieces of sandpaper toilet paper along the pillowy soft, white carpet. Instead of makeup and electronics, their goodie bags would contain Charmin and Quilted Northern. Can't you just hear Sir Ian McKellan making the grand announcement, "And the Loo of the Year for 2009 goes to..........drum roll.......the fine folks at the Tower of London, congratulations!!!!!" as he hands over a beautiful, golden loo? Imaging that ceremony kept me entertained for the rest of the day.
Next: Proof for my family that I actually purchased and attempted to eat fish and chips:
This from the girl who has yet to live down the fact that she ordered chicken at the world famous Amstruther's Fish & Chips shop during a family trip to Scotland. I was determined to at least try it this time. Verdict? YUCK. I hated the fish but ate the chips and then bought another Coca-Cola to wash the fish taste from my mouth. Fish and I don't get along unless they're swimming in a tank, not battered, fried and sitting on my plate.
The rest of the time I rode around on the top of a big, red, double-decker bus. Of course, I nearly froze to death as the open top allowed the wind to give me frostbite and whip my hair into a tangled, frizzy mess. But even though I had forgotten my jacket, I was too stubborn to move because the top offered the best views and it was my only chance to snap ample photographs of Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, various statues, churches and other buildings.
All of those things were enjoyable or at the very least memorable. However, they were the typical tourist stops and make for a boring story. Here's the real reason why the mention of London shoots a shiver up my spine over a year later: his name was LUIGI and he was a tour guide on that big, red, double-decker bus.
