Why ask why?
Do you remember those silly commercials? They used to be some of my favorites. Not because I'm fond of beer ~ I'm not and my virgin lips had never even tasted alcohol at the time those spots first aired ~ but I am a girl who never ceases to ask why. It's an annoying and exhausting trait; if I'm not asking out of curiosity then I'm asking out of anger.
Here's a sample of the random, completely unrelated questions that zoom through my mind in any given 10-minute period:
- Why does Dr. Pepper make me so happy?
- Why does love hurt?
- Why am I so complicated?
- Why do people stop at yield signs but yield at stop signs?
- Why do evil people steal the innocence from children?
- Why, why, why, why, WHY?
Perhaps the endless questions explain why I'm so exhausted all the time! For some misguided reason part of me has always believed that knowing the answers to all of my questions would bring me peace. I was wrong. Some answers did bring peace, but many times they brought additional turmoil, heartbreak and even more whys instead.
Ironically it seems that knowing the answers is sometimes more painful than not knowing them. Yet, I'm driven to seek them anyway. However, I've been burned often enough that I've learned to mix the answers with an abundance of grace, peace and wisdom, otherwise the knowledge can overwhelm, confuse and destroy my fragile sense of peace.
If you had a choice between learning why or experiencing peace, which one would you choose? This is one question that has an easy answer for me. Instead of torturing myself with the unanswered whys, I'd rather have peace. That doesn't mean I will ever stop searching for answers, it means I will find a way to live with the difficult ones. It means I will put my trust in God's wisdom even when the answers don't satisfy my curiosity or sense of justice. Ultimately that is when I find peace.
