I thought about them a lot today, as I tried to put myself in their shoes. After witnessing the traumatic end of Jesus, they were left with nothing. Emotions of fear, doubt, and sadness undoubtedly swirled in their hearts. They were left with NOTHING to show for their devotion to the man they called Messiah. They had left their jobs, homes, and families to follow him. They loved him. They believed him. And then they watched him die a brutal death. Saturday must have been a no-good, rotten, terrible day for them. Faith was never so tested as when they had to watch their hope die.
Still I wonder, did they have a sliver of hope left? Did they remember watching Lazarus walk out of the tomb? Did they remember Jairus' daughter? Did they remember all of the countless miracles they had witnessed and let it bubble into hope? Or did they do what I often do and immediately assume they were stupid to have given up everything for a promise that seemed too good to be true? I mean, how could THEY have been chosen as the Messiah's inner circle? Why not the elite? Why not the Pharisees? Why them? Did they let doubt and cynicism creep into their hearts?
They did not have the benefit of hindsight. They did not get to read the end of the story, they were living it. The truth is, we are living in the middle too, the middle of our story of redemption. The middle of the world's groaning. And probably the middle of a smaller story that makes up the beautiful tapestry to our individual lives. Thankfully, we know the ultimate end of the story, but we don't always know the end of our own, do we?
I have seen first hand that often when others think they know, or I think I know, God will throw me a curveball and completely amaze and awe me. He did that a few thousand years ago with Jesus, he did it seven years ago during the fire, he did it two years ago with my heart, he did it last week for my mother. He will do it for you too. Hope may be fickle but it walks hand in hand with faith. If you find yourself in the difficult middle of a terrible circumstance, ask for God to intervene and believe that he will. It may not be how you expect, or in the way that you want it, but he will not fail to act on behalf of those he loves. He loves ALL of us and is always waiting for us to grab his hand, find redemption, and live into his beautiful plan.
Hold on tight because Easter is coming!
