Unlost

Photo by Jamie Street on Unsplash

Have you ever been turned around?  Certain you were headed in the right direction, only to discover that you were on the wrong road the entire time?  Or taken a wrong turn thus ending up on the wrong road?  Or somehow missed the sign for your exit and stayed on the right road for too long and then........ it became the wrong road?  

Finding the wrong road is a frequent occurrence in my life because I was born directionally challenged.  All attempts to teach me how to find my way have been unsuccessful.  I failed Map Reading 101 in school and in the real world.  That is a nice way of saying that I get lost easily and ALL.OF.THE.TIME.  Although sometimes I actually just wander because I am the curious type, usually I really am lost.  

There is no way to quantify how many times I have been lost, er, 'turned around' in my lifetime.  There are countless stories of my inabilities to figure out what direction I should take.  And anyone who has been "blessed" to travel with me gets to experience the frustration of this disorder with me.  😊✈😃

Do you remember that scene from Friends where Joey and Chandler are lost in London?  Joey puts the map on the ground and stands on it convinced that it will tell them what direction to take.  Cue HUGE eye roll from Chandler.  Well........I actually did that while traveling in Krakow, Poland, but it wasn't to get laughs, it was to get "unlost"!  And do you know what?  I got a HUGE eye roll too, just like Joey because, shockingly (perhaps only to me), IT.DID.NOT.WORK!  My high hopes were dashed.  Instead it had the effect of confusing us MORE and guaranteeing that we were hopelessly lost and on the wrong road.  Sorry Lyndel!

Photo by Andrew Neel on Unsplash

It takes an abundance of talent to be so skilled at finding the wrong road, and I am so good at it that I can get lost before starting!  The first time I traveled to Europe I was a 24-year-old, brave, naive, VERY GREEN, international traveler, and completely alone; just a girl, her backpack, A LOT of traveler's checks, and NO place to stay.  I did not know one soul on the entire European continent.  Not.One.   And I could not just call home for help either because it was LONG before cell phones were common; before ATM cards were "safe" to use for travel; and before navigation systems were available to anyone other than airline pilots.  😉 

But, I was determined.........until I landed in Munich bleary-eyed from jet lag AND the unfiltered cigarettes that I was forced to inhale on the nine-hour flight. (Again, it was A LONG time ago when smoking was still allowed on airplanes!)  All of my courage was scared into submission as I looked around completely lost in the airport.  I had not even made it into the city yet and I was already so lost and frustrated that I sat on a bench and promptly fell asleep.  Denial is how I roll.

Do you know that creepy feeling you get when someone watches you sleep?  Me too.  I had it in spades when I awakened after my short nap to notice people observing me.  Icky.  To be fair, I must have been a sight to behold with a huge backpack, sweatpants, no makeup, messy hair, and probably snoring like a freight train.  Panic started to rise up as I attempted to figure out what to do.  The nap had helped me think a little more clearly, but the German language was beyond my ability to comprehend and was no help in getting me "unlost".  I desperately needed assistance.  Tears were leaking from my eyes when I eventually found someone to help me navigate the subway out of the airport.  Of course, 17 miles later I realized that I didn't get off at the right stop.  It was a classic case of staying on the right road for TOO LONG and thus ending up on the wrong road. 

And of course, once in the actual city center I could not find the youth hostel either.  I stumbled on it after being "turned around" for almost an hour only to be turned away.  Seems there was no room at the inn.  It took a few more hours before I finally found a place to stay.  By that point all I wanted to do was go back to the airport and fly home.  Because jet lag.  Yet, I persevered, eventually found the right roads in each city and ended up having the most amazing experiences in Germany, Austria and the Czech Republic.  I am so glad I stayed the course, even when it was hard and scary.

Photo by Dmitry Sovyak on Unsplash

Venice was another adventure in finding the wrong road.  Have you ever been?  Did you ever have the pleasure of getting lost on those beautiful, dead-end streets?  It's easy to do.  But my friend, Steph, and I took it to a whole new level.  We were so lost that we could not find the gondolas. Yes, embarrassingly you read that right. The gondolas.  The same ones almost every tourist pays way too much money to ride.  We saw them in the water, aware that lots of other people figured out how to board them at the ENTRANCE, but we never could because we were always on the wrong road.  Surprise, surprise.  No gondola rides for us!  But we did get gloriously lost in an amazing city, so there's that, and there are always lessons to found, even when you are on the wrong road.

You would think I'd have learned by now.  That the GPS systems, 24-hour cell phone access and good ole' experience would have helped me stay on the right road.  But guess what, I still get lost.  A lot.  One day, as a seasoned, thirty-something, I found myself turned around while driving my nephew somewhere new.  He was just a little munchkin at the time, but he knew I was frustrated, so in between giggles he tried to encourage me by saying, "Wobin, it's fun to get lost with you."  Guess what?   We have now had fun getting lost together in New York and New Jersey too!  Apparently he got the same defective gene as I did.

So, hear is the deal, when giving someone like me directions, it is best to use small words and, please, DO NOT expect me to use a compass or understand what way to go if you say "head west".  Um, is that left?  I need VERY obvious instructions.  Say things like: "Back out of your driveway and turn right onto your street.  Drive to the end of the street and turn right.  When you see the pink house with the yellow roof on the corner of the street, TURN LEFT.  Keep driving until, blah, blah, blah.  You get the idea.  Telling me to head east and take a right in 100 feet is like speaking to me in Greek.  Keep it simple and specific.  It's better for both of us that way. 

All of these experiences correlate very well to how I live my life.  Sometimes when I think I am on the right road I find out that, nope, I have always been on the wrong road.  Sometimes I am truckin' along on the right road when, bam, I take a wrong turn and, you guessed it, I suddenly find myself on the wrong road.  And sometimes, I start out on the right road, but get a little too comfy and fail to pay enough attention to the signs telling me it is time to exit, so what was once the right road turns into the wrong road.

I wish I could tell you that I have it all figured out, but to be honest walking by faith instead of sight is counterintuitive to me.  Figuring out which direction to go is where my faith intersects with actual living.  More often than not I think I know best and usually end up on the wrong road, but God has a way of redirecting me, kind of like GPS. 

Make no mistake, being lost is hard.  Walking the wrong road, although full of valuable lessons, is painful.  And even with God's help in the form of a road map, a guide to help me interpret it, and a companion for the journey, it is exhausting, WITH the Trinity on my side!  Today I am grateful that He never tires of turning me around, pointing me in the way I should go, forgiving my failures, and loving me without condition. 

I am learning to trust that He knows exactly what he is doing, regardless of whether the road takes me through a desert, up a steep hill, allows me to enjoy the view from the top, or leads me to sulk in the valley.  The only way to thrive and find joy in the journey is to listen and follow His directions.  I have to believe that His eyes will see for me and he will move my feet in the right direction so I can spend more time on the right road.