The eye doctor removed my glasses and instructed me to look at the wall in front of me. "What do you see?" she asked. I could sort of make out the largest letter, the big "E", but only because I already knew what it was. We both chuckled because even though we KNEW there were a bunch of other letters projected onto the wall, we also knew that I could not make them out for a million dollars because she had my glasses in her hands. The thing is, my unaided vision is severely limited.
After the doctor worked her magic by asking me over and over which lens helped me see the letters clearly, I was given a new prescription and whisked away to the display of eyeglasses so I could pick out a new pair. It would not be long and I would have new glasses to help me work, read, drive, cook and even walk down the street better than I had been managing with the old ones.
The first time I was fitted for glasses and contacts was a really long time ago. My mom never believed that I had difficulty seeing and declined to take me to the eye doctor. She was convinced that I only wanted glasses because when I was in third grade my best friend had needed them. Ha, I wish! What third grader wants to be called four eyes? Finally a test at school when I was thirteen convinced her that I really did need visual help. Driving home from my first eye doctor appointment with a pair of contacts stuck in my eyes, I was delightedly reading road signs and pointing out all of the things I could now see. It was like scales had fallen from my eyes! I was so excited to have VISION restored and to see all that I had been missing. Everything was brighter, everything was sharper and nothing was blurry. It was amazing.
One of the weird things about wearing contacts is getting used to putting them in your eyes and then keeping them there. Though it took more work, I simply saw things better when I was wearing contacts than when I was wearing glasses. Plus vanity.....
In the beginning I could not put in my contacts alone. My older brother, himself a contact wearer, had to be enlisted to help me learn how to put the contacts in and how to take them out safely. I had to learn to put eye drops in to keep my eyes moist. I had to learn how to SEE differently than I was used to seeing and I needed help to do it.
Isn't that a lot like faith? I don't know about you, but thirty-five years after I became a Jesus Freak (look it up if you don't get the reference.) I still frequently need help to see things differently because now I see through a glass darkly (I Corinthians 13:12a). I don't see well physically OR spiritually without help. I need the clarity of the Holy Spirit teaching me the ways of God and a community of friends who can help give me a different perspective so I can grow in wisdom and grace.
Whenever I finally grasp a new spiritual truth, I act like my thirteen year-old-self on the car ride home all those years ago. I get excited! I see things clearly! I finally see what I have been missing and for a little while all seems right in the world. My attitude improves, I have greater peace and I feel hugged by God. It is always an amazing feeling.
But as time progresses, just like in real life, my vision starts to fade again. I start having trouble seeing things clearly and I know it is time for a check-up. I wish I could always see things perfectly but as the end of the verse in I Corinthians states, "but then I will see face to face." Perfect spiritual vision is one of the promises of Heaven, and it will be glorious, but in the meantime I must pray for spiritual eyes to see and know the things of God. I must let the Holy Spirit guide me. I must seek help from friends and do the extra work required to see things more clearly, because even if I see things perfectly in one area, there are many other areas where my vision is skewed. I am so grateful that even if my physical vision fades to nothing, my spiritual eyes will always be able to focus on the big "G" as long as I walk in faith.
And now I need to go make my eye appointment because my vision is starting to get a little rusty.
