The story of Jesus visiting Mary and Martha in their home is a curious one. Social norms? Upended. A woman sitting at the feet of a man? Unheard of. A woman shirking her responsibility? Unfathomable. Entertaining the Messiah and Savior of mankind? Unimaginable.
Jesus was not put off by her "responsibility-shirking". He recognized the purity of her devotion. He saw that she wanted to know him, that the food and drink preparations were just noise. He responded, engaged her, and invested in her. He saw her.
Meanwhile Martha was busy.....and perturbed. She was devoted to the tasks at hand. She was good at serving. But, she was not happy with her sister. Was she afraid that nothing would get done if she didn't do it? Fearful of what people would think if she did some "responsibility-shirking" of her own? Was she feeling invisible as someone comfortable with the noise of service who most likely needed a bit of personal glory in the process - all while missing real glory sitting in her living room?
Uncomfortable as it is, for a lot of us service is more about our own needs. It's easy to get bent out of shape when we think we are doing the lion's share of work and someone else gets noticed. But Jesus was more interested in pure devotion. The status quo never interested him. He responds to the hearts of people. Mary's heart was relational devotion. Martha's heart was servant devotion. Both are good, but one of them is better, as Jesus kindly pointed out when he smashed Martha's complaint to smithereens. It always makes me think of the Brady Bunch episode where Jan moans, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!" Can't you just hear him saying, "Martha, Martha, (Martha), you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the better thing and it will not be taken away from her." Honestly, all I hear is: "You're missing the point girlfriend! I'm happy with her devotion and I'm not going to let you get in the middle of it! You will not be taking her away from me. Full stop."
So what's the deal? Jesus wasn't a narcissist who needed the undivided attention of everyone around him. His belly even benefited from Martha's "doing". But, in this world, we cannot devote ourselves to only one thing and forgo all of the "doing". Maybe "doing" is more effective when devotion is our priority. It clears our minds of distractions and allows us to do the best things, instead of everything.
Why did Jesus tell Martha that Mary had chosen the better thing when both things were important? Perhaps it was because she chose to engage in relationship before anything else, which is exactly what he would do. It is a great model of how we should live in this cold, hard world, and in the churches that use us up if we let them. The better choice is to let him engage us, live our lives in devotion to him, and then go out and engage them with his love, and serve them.
Jesus was not put off by her "responsibility-shirking". He recognized the purity of her devotion. He saw that she wanted to know him, that the food and drink preparations were just noise. He responded, engaged her, and invested in her. He saw her.
Meanwhile Martha was busy.....and perturbed. She was devoted to the tasks at hand. She was good at serving. But, she was not happy with her sister. Was she afraid that nothing would get done if she didn't do it? Fearful of what people would think if she did some "responsibility-shirking" of her own? Was she feeling invisible as someone comfortable with the noise of service who most likely needed a bit of personal glory in the process - all while missing real glory sitting in her living room?
Uncomfortable as it is, for a lot of us service is more about our own needs. It's easy to get bent out of shape when we think we are doing the lion's share of work and someone else gets noticed. But Jesus was more interested in pure devotion. The status quo never interested him. He responds to the hearts of people. Mary's heart was relational devotion. Martha's heart was servant devotion. Both are good, but one of them is better, as Jesus kindly pointed out when he smashed Martha's complaint to smithereens. It always makes me think of the Brady Bunch episode where Jan moans, "Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!" Can't you just hear him saying, "Martha, Martha, (Martha), you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen the better thing and it will not be taken away from her." Honestly, all I hear is: "You're missing the point girlfriend! I'm happy with her devotion and I'm not going to let you get in the middle of it! You will not be taking her away from me. Full stop."
So what's the deal? Jesus wasn't a narcissist who needed the undivided attention of everyone around him. His belly even benefited from Martha's "doing". But, in this world, we cannot devote ourselves to only one thing and forgo all of the "doing". Maybe "doing" is more effective when devotion is our priority. It clears our minds of distractions and allows us to do the best things, instead of everything.
Why did Jesus tell Martha that Mary had chosen the better thing when both things were important? Perhaps it was because she chose to engage in relationship before anything else, which is exactly what he would do. It is a great model of how we should live in this cold, hard world, and in the churches that use us up if we let them. The better choice is to let him engage us, live our lives in devotion to him, and then go out and engage them with his love, and serve them.
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Next is the hardest story. One that started in crisis. Mary and Martha's brother Lazarus fell ill. Like, 'call 911 and rush him to the hospital' kind of ill. Except there was no 911; no hospital to treat him; no life support if he coded. It was bad and they were scared so they cried out to the healer, the one they knew could help. They called Jesus. And he didn't answer. He put them off to continue what he was already doing. Aw, the silence of God. My least favorite thing in the entire world. Yours too?
After dilly-dallying around, he finally arrived a few days later, after they had spent four long days trying to nurse their beloved brother back to health while the healer had remained silent and quite literally distant. Four days of caring for someone you love who is seriously ill is mentally, physically, and emotionally draining in a way that is difficult to explain unless you have experienced it. It shatters your heart when you are powerless and your beloved is slowly slipping into eternity. It is a terrible place to be no matter what, but an especially difficult faith builder when you know the one who can merely blink and make it all go away. And he doesn't do it.
Martha got word that Jesus was close, so she went to him. She would not sit idly by, ever. That is the way God made her. And what did she do? She called out the Son of God on his absence. Gulp. "If you had been here my brother would not have died." Boom. Yet, even in the calling out, her statement displayed faith, albeit not fully developed. It showed that she still believed, even when there was no real reason to do so.
Jesus had such a great response to her. He did not chastise her, he was not angry, he simply asked her if she believed he was the resurrection and the life. And because she had maintained her faith, even in her grief she was able to affirm that she did indeed believe. She was the FIRST PERSON to equate him as the Messiah AND Son of God. She wasn't speaking "her" truth, she was speaking 'THE" truth. You go girl!
Now Mary, the "emotional" one was a different story. I imagine she was still in a puddle on the ground, engulfed in her emotions, which is EXACTLY where I would be. But once Martha told her her Jesus was near she ran to him and threw herself at his feet. Apparently she really liked his feet. 😊
It was different that time, it wasn't about devotion, it was about grief. She didn't hide it. She didn't pretend that everything was okay. She was not embarrassed. She let herself feel the pain and she displayed it for all to see. It was messy. Ain't no way it was pretty. It was the ugliest of ugly cries.
"When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, 'Lord, if you had been here my brother would not have died.' When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in his spirit and greatly troubled." John 11:32-33. THEN he wept.
Everyone always says he wept because of the death of Lazarus. Surely there is some truth to that, but I think there was more to it. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me (a non-theologian) that he only wept because Lazarus died. He had already told his disciples that he was glad that Lazarus had died if only so they would believe. Let's be real, he KNEW of the coming resurrection of Lazarus, just as he knew of his own.
You know, when someone grieves openly, it gives space for others to do the same. Grief rituals are important. Maybe that was part of the reason he wept. But the scripture is clear that their grief deeply moved his spirit and he was greatly troubled. He knew he was about to perform the impossible, but seeing the wounding everyone experienced before he could display the Glory of God was painful. Most of us don't get the same ending as Lazarus and it is hard to swallow. He does not want us to hurt, but he knows that sometimes it is unavoidable. He tenderly bottles every tear we cry and looks forward to the day there will be no more tears, maybe more than we do. He grieves with us. When we are as desperate as Mary was he meets us where we are, even if we are in a puddle on the ground. He acknowledge us. He engages us. He loves us. He empathizes. And THEN he shows his power. He goes into action after he has tended to our hearts.
As someone who is more emotional than most, I cannot tell you how much that means to me. Jesus modeled how we are to respond when confronted with grief and emotion. It requires courage, tenderness, patience, vulnerability, and the ability to sit with someone else's pain, but it is the most important thing we can do before we jump into action.
Do not be afraid to grieve. And do not be afraid to show up for those who are grieving. Acknowledge them. Love them. Listen to them. Wipe away their tears. But do not go silent and ignore them. Jesus would never let that happen and we shouldn't either.
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The last encounter was tender. Jesus was back at the house of Martha and Mary. Lazarus was reclining......maybe still weak from his death and resurrection experience? 😉 Martha was serving, of course, apparently without the help of her sister who was laser focused on Jesus, the better choice. Then Mary did something very strange to our western sensibilities - she anointed his feet with really expensive ointment (I told you she really liked his feet!) I mean, she really poured it on thick! Some people didn't like it - think Judas Iscariot. Using so much of something so precious in such an extravagant way was a shocking waste to some. And then, to humble herself and use her hair and tears to wipe off the scented, expensive ointment? It must have been a sacred moment, powerful to behold. It was not necessary. It was lavish. It was intimate. It was gratitude and love and devotion to the one who truly knew her. The one who fully loved her. Her savior. Her Messiah. It was beautiful.
He loves us that way. It inspires devotion.
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💗Mary sat at the feet of Jesus in devotion
💗Mary fell at the feet of Jesus in grief
💗Mary sank at the feet of Jesus in worship
May we do the same.
Signed,
Robin, someone trying hard not to miss the point
