Last Saturday dawned bright and clear and I woke up happy and feeling less stress than I had for several months. My new job was looking good, I was in a healthy state of mind and I was relaxed. I spent the day puttering and running errands and just doing normal Saturday stuff. And then the evil stomach monster arrived at my door....After returning from the grocery store and hauling my loot upstairs I felt the sudden need for a nap. Since it was Saturday I allowed myself that little luxury and ended up dozing for 2 hours. When I finally opened my eyes I felt achy and a little nauseated so I decided to eat some tortillas or bread. Now I don't buy white tortillas or white bread, I buy the "healthful" stuff, and while that's generally a better option, let me just state for the record that it's not really a good idea to eat a lot of fiber when your tummy has been invaded by an evil monster. I just hadn't met the evil monster yet so I didn't know I was provoking him.
You know what I did? I ate 2 high fiber, whole grain tortillas, watched a movie, emailed and read some blogs before crawling into bed. By 2:00 am I was wide awake and bathed in sweat, spasms of pain causing me to physically cry out as I made a run to the bathroom. After getting a good view of my porcelain throne I crawled back into bed, still not aware of how seriously angry this particular monster was with me. I was soon to find out though as I awoke to the same scene for the next several hours wondering exactly where I had gone wrong. The thought of driving to the hospital crossed my mind, but since I was in between health coverage due to my new job and a delay in my COBRA paperwork, I was reluctant to spend the night in the E.R. and pay thousands of dollars in medical expenses. I still naively thought that I had a case of food poisoning and I began mentally placing blame on Chick-fil-A or India Palace, the last 2 places I had eaten.
Sunday was really no better. I skipped church and barely made it to my nephew's birthday party before driving to Walgreens to try to find something to help me ease the stomach cramps. After arriving home I showered and crawled into bed at 6:00 pm and tried to sleep. But nope, that was NOT gonna happen. Approximately every 2 hours I felt the need to bow before the great throne of porcelain before crawling back into bed hoping for relief. And to make matters worse, I had an unwelcome, uninvited monthly visitor show up at about 3:15 am. That did NOT help matters because although I like many of my relatives, Aunt Flo is at the bottom of my list, (pun intended) and she always makes me grumpy.....
Monday I was awake bright and early because calling in sick was not an option, I took a shower, dressed and left for work clutching a bag of crackers. I spent a lot of time resting my head on my desk after running to and from the bathroom. I'm sure my staff was wondering what exactly was going on..... At lunch I tried to sit in the break room and chat, but I was so ill that I ended up in my office sleeping with my head on my desk for over an hour. My Billing Manager awakened me and looked very concerned when she noted how pale I was, but I didn't have time to chat instead I grabbed the trash can, which effectively ended her stay in my office... My boss stopped by, took one look at me and told me to get downstairs to the surgical center for an immediate IV. I was so sick that I didn't even argue, even when I arrived downstairs and the nurse told me to undress. Normally when a co-worker tells me to disrobe I do not obey!
I laid there in severe pain, shivering as the IV pumped cold liquid into my veins. My parents arrived and waited with me until I was finally released and told to go straight home. Now my parents do not know the Stone Oak area and I am new to it myself. I also tend to be impatient and cranky when I'm ill, and I hate having to explain things so I fear I was not very nice to my poor dad as he kept questioning my directions for how to get home. Finally I convinced him to trust me and off we drove with my mother in hot pursuit, dad pedaling really fast and avoiding a wreck while I unexpectedly emptied the rest of the contents of my stomach into a plastic bag. Poor dad.
The remainder of Monday was miserable. My boss called me, prescribed medication and gave me strict instructions of what to do. Every 2 hours I would awaken crying and delirious; at one point I was seriously CONVINCED that I had seen the face of Jesus in the toilet bowl. I AM NOT KIDDING, I would have sworn to that under oath at the time. I was obviously really sick, and I was terrified because I'd never experienced a hallucination, let alone a sacrilegious one and I don't want to experience another one ever again!
I hugged the porcelain for the last time Tuesday morning and my sweet mom delivered medication and Pedialyte. I was still impatient and cranky but the medication at least quelled the vomiting and put me to sleep. Wednesday I arrived at work at 10:30 and stayed for just 3 1/2 hours before heading home again. I was weak and exhausted and running a fever and the doctor told me to go, so I did! I spent the day trying to get comfortable but my back was killing me after I had pulled every muscle repeatedly for the last 72 hours. Later that day I drank some water and finished my first bottle of Pedialyte before falling asleep at 7:15 pm.
Thursday I worked all day but took frequent naps. I managed to make it home before passing out and then had a friend deliver bananas - a safe food according to the BRAT diet. I partook of my first solid food, 1/2 a banana chased by 1/2 a bottle of Mango flavored Pedialyte and then fell asleep on my sofa, which helped support my aching back. By Friday morning I was feeling human again. I worked a full day without a nap and was actually somewhat productive. I did drive straight home and take a nap after work but I was able to eat another banana and drink enough water to keep me hydrated. I also stayed up until 10:00 pm watching a movie and returning emails I hadn't checked for a week.
Today was a complete day of rest. Nothing but movies, the Olympics, reading and a lot of sleeping. Tomorrow promises to be the same, there is NO WAY I am risking a relapse. Thankfully India Palace was not to blame, but instead a nasty, evil stomach monster. I really, really hope you never meet him. But if you do, just know that Mango or Fruit flavored Pedialyte trumps the unflavored version every time. And if you're not blessed enough to know a really good GI doctor, I sure can recommend one. I am grateful that he took such good care of me and he has forever earned my respect, loyalty and trust, which is really hard to do.
