There's always at least one Clark Griswold moment in my holiday decorating. Usually it occurs when one strand of annoying Christmas lights refuses to twinkle after being strung on the tree. All of that time and effort to carefully wrap the lights in between the branches, all of the anticipation of a beautifully lit tree and.......nothing. CLARK!!!!!!
This year began with a ginormous strand of broken lights in my life. I'll spare you the gory details, but suffice it to say that things were messy and painful. The darkness of that one little strand of lights began to eclipse the light of all of the others. I was drowning in grief from hidden sorrow. The unspoken story of my life haunted me and a deep fear that I would not find my way back to a fully lit life consumed me. My faith suffered, my health took a nose-dive and I was worried that I would lose my job. I was barely functioning.
I tried desperately to fix those tiny, broken pieces of glass, but I couldn't do it. For a long time I wallowed in the depressing darkness. But then I was reminded that light was living and breathing in me and would eventually triumph over the blackness.
"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was with God in the beginning. Through him all things were made; without him nothing was made that has been made. In him was life, and that life was the light of all mankind. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."
This year when I put up my tree there was one pesky strand of lights that promptly quit working. At first I focused all of my energy on making them twinkle, but then I gave up. I sat and stared at my tree in disappointment. I was focused on the unlit strand and what it represented to me when I finally noticed the other lights. Their brightness was contagious and eventually I no longer focused on the darkness.
Those little shimmering lights became symbols for me: of deeper faith, comforting hugs, intimate friendships, a family's laughter, my dog's snuggle, Maya's smile, life. The list is unending. Yes, there will always be broken lights, shards of darkness that try to steal the light, horrible memories, atrocities, deception, betrayal. I refuse to ignore them any longer, I will acknowledge how they shape(d) me and choose to learn from them instead of fearing them. The light Who lives in me will illuminate my path and overcome the darkness from the broken strand of lights.
May the broken strands in your life intertwine with the light of Christ's life and unending, redeeming love. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
May the broken strands in your life intertwine with the light of Christ's life and unending, redeeming love. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
