Thump, thump, thump, the sound emanating from the bass speakers in the low-rider in front of us should have been the first clue. The KISS 99.5 FM van should have been the second. And the vehicles, a mix of Mustangs, low-riders and tricked-out trucks should have been the third. We were definitely not in Kansas anymore.
Saturday was a beautiful, sunny day, one of those days that makes you happy that you live in South Texas, at least until summer. After a leisurely morning, and a long, flower-filled walk I waited for my friend Amy and her two girls to pick me up. We were headed to the local dog show, a free event that we decided to attend to find out if it resembled the "Best In Show" movie at all. Plus we wanted to DO something, and something different at that. So off we drove not sure what to expect, which may have been a good thing.
Once we arrived at the event, we were surprised when the parking attendant told us that it would cost $5, wasn't it free? We clearly looked puzzled, which caused him to peruse our vehicle, a huge suburban containing two almost middle-aged women, and two adorable girls in the back seat, one sporting long braids. At that point HE looked puzzled and decided to investigate the situation further.
Attendant: "Um, what event are you here for?"
Amy: "The dog show???"
Attendant: "This is the 'Tat Expo', the dog show is at gate E."
Amy & Robin: "Oh"
Robin: "Did he say TATTOO EXPO?"
Amy: "I think he did"
Girls: "Giggle, giggle"
At this point we had completed a u-turn and decided to stop and ask the attendant if he did indeed say "Tattoo Expo", surely we were mistaken.
Amy: "What event is this?"
Attendant: "The Tattoo Expo"
Amy: "Okaaaay, how do we get to the dog show?"
Attendant: "Take a left out of the parking lot, make a left at the light and then left at gate E"
Amy: "Okay, thank you!"
As we drove away we all broke into guffaws, we were clearly out of place. What could have possibly given us away? K-love on the radio? The suburban? The wide-eyed innocence of Amy's girls? Our lack of body art and piercings? Now, I'm not judging those who sport tattoos and piercings, but clearly 2 straight-laced, former BSF leaders and fresh-scrubbed girls did NOT fit the "Tat Expo" demographic!
When we finally arrived at our preferred event, after waiting for the Mustang driver to get directions to the Tattoo Expo, I knew we were in the right place. The Cadillacs, motor homes and, um the smell. We had definitely found the dog show. The girls bounded out and we made our way to an open arena filled with, well, dogs. Lots and lots of dogs. The humans were an afterthought.
After being assaulted with the lovely odor of wet dog and other disgusting smells I'd rather not describe in detail, we decided to watch the show. The sporting class was up so we took our seats and watched women dressed in pantyhose and heels, and men in suits parade their dogs around in complete silence because there were no announcers telling us what was happening. If you didn't happen to be in the know you were toast. Amy and I started asking the people around us and some were helpful and some would rather have been talking to their dogs. In fact, I thought I was having a conversation with a lady who kept talking after answering my question. I mistakenly thought she was talking to me, but nope, she was talking to her dog. It was kind of like that weird feeling you get when someone walks past you and says hi and you say hi because you think they're talking to you, and then you realize they have a blue tooth and they're really on the phone and you've just responded to someone who wasn't talking to you and who is looking at you like you're crazy.......yeah, kind of like that. Awkward!
So then we decided to walk around and we saw even MORE dogs. Most of them were being groomed for the main event, and I have to be honest and say that the smell was 100 times worse in the grooming area! We looked at Poodles, a weird, hairless Chinese dog, Labradors, Golden Retrievers, Pugs, Collies, Bulldogs, Sheep Dogs and even a Texas Chihuahua a.k.a. a Great Dane. That dog was 6-ft tall when he stood on his hind legs. And the slobber, ugh, so gross! We were terrified that he would shake his head and cover us in goo....
After about an hour we were getting hungry and thirsty but there was not a water bottle or snack stand to be found for us humans, there were, however, plenty for the dogs. There was "Bark Avenue", a nice little store selling fancy dog beds, frames, calendars, etc. The "Pet Deli" was exactly that, a deli for the dogs. "B.A.R.F." sold bones and other canine essentials. And there was even an artist willing to draw caricatures of your dog for a small fee. Worse still was the following sign on the bathroom door: "No Dogs Allowed", that could be taken the wrong way folks.
Finally we were longing for Kansas and food and drinks. On the way out we discovered one small table selling mixed nuts. But honestly, we were not even tempted when they offered us samples stating that they were for humans. Just the thought of the Great Dane walking by and drooling in those nuts almost made us B.A.R.F. :-) Instead we opted for Mexican Food and a relaxing afternoon at the park. Good times all around.
Saturday was a beautiful, sunny day, one of those days that makes you happy that you live in South Texas, at least until summer. After a leisurely morning, and a long, flower-filled walk I waited for my friend Amy and her two girls to pick me up. We were headed to the local dog show, a free event that we decided to attend to find out if it resembled the "Best In Show" movie at all. Plus we wanted to DO something, and something different at that. So off we drove not sure what to expect, which may have been a good thing.
Once we arrived at the event, we were surprised when the parking attendant told us that it would cost $5, wasn't it free? We clearly looked puzzled, which caused him to peruse our vehicle, a huge suburban containing two almost middle-aged women, and two adorable girls in the back seat, one sporting long braids. At that point HE looked puzzled and decided to investigate the situation further.
Attendant: "Um, what event are you here for?"
Amy: "The dog show???"
Attendant: "This is the 'Tat Expo', the dog show is at gate E."
Amy & Robin: "Oh"
Robin: "Did he say TATTOO EXPO?"
Amy: "I think he did"
Girls: "Giggle, giggle"
At this point we had completed a u-turn and decided to stop and ask the attendant if he did indeed say "Tattoo Expo", surely we were mistaken.
Amy: "What event is this?"
Attendant: "The Tattoo Expo"
Amy: "Okaaaay, how do we get to the dog show?"
Attendant: "Take a left out of the parking lot, make a left at the light and then left at gate E"
Amy: "Okay, thank you!"
As we drove away we all broke into guffaws, we were clearly out of place. What could have possibly given us away? K-love on the radio? The suburban? The wide-eyed innocence of Amy's girls? Our lack of body art and piercings? Now, I'm not judging those who sport tattoos and piercings, but clearly 2 straight-laced, former BSF leaders and fresh-scrubbed girls did NOT fit the "Tat Expo" demographic!
When we finally arrived at our preferred event, after waiting for the Mustang driver to get directions to the Tattoo Expo, I knew we were in the right place. The Cadillacs, motor homes and, um the smell. We had definitely found the dog show. The girls bounded out and we made our way to an open arena filled with, well, dogs. Lots and lots of dogs. The humans were an afterthought.
After being assaulted with the lovely odor of wet dog and other disgusting smells I'd rather not describe in detail, we decided to watch the show. The sporting class was up so we took our seats and watched women dressed in pantyhose and heels, and men in suits parade their dogs around in complete silence because there were no announcers telling us what was happening. If you didn't happen to be in the know you were toast. Amy and I started asking the people around us and some were helpful and some would rather have been talking to their dogs. In fact, I thought I was having a conversation with a lady who kept talking after answering my question. I mistakenly thought she was talking to me, but nope, she was talking to her dog. It was kind of like that weird feeling you get when someone walks past you and says hi and you say hi because you think they're talking to you, and then you realize they have a blue tooth and they're really on the phone and you've just responded to someone who wasn't talking to you and who is looking at you like you're crazy.......yeah, kind of like that. Awkward!
So then we decided to walk around and we saw even MORE dogs. Most of them were being groomed for the main event, and I have to be honest and say that the smell was 100 times worse in the grooming area! We looked at Poodles, a weird, hairless Chinese dog, Labradors, Golden Retrievers, Pugs, Collies, Bulldogs, Sheep Dogs and even a Texas Chihuahua a.k.a. a Great Dane. That dog was 6-ft tall when he stood on his hind legs. And the slobber, ugh, so gross! We were terrified that he would shake his head and cover us in goo....
After about an hour we were getting hungry and thirsty but there was not a water bottle or snack stand to be found for us humans, there were, however, plenty for the dogs. There was "Bark Avenue", a nice little store selling fancy dog beds, frames, calendars, etc. The "Pet Deli" was exactly that, a deli for the dogs. "B.A.R.F." sold bones and other canine essentials. And there was even an artist willing to draw caricatures of your dog for a small fee. Worse still was the following sign on the bathroom door: "No Dogs Allowed", that could be taken the wrong way folks.
Finally we were longing for Kansas and food and drinks. On the way out we discovered one small table selling mixed nuts. But honestly, we were not even tempted when they offered us samples stating that they were for humans. Just the thought of the Great Dane walking by and drooling in those nuts almost made us B.A.R.F. :-) Instead we opted for Mexican Food and a relaxing afternoon at the park. Good times all around.
