Cell phone etiquette is a funny thing, every one I know has different boundaries when it comes to their portable tracking device. And it should be noted that the things that bother me obviously don't bother several of my friends. For instance, I cannot stand it when I am at dinner with a friend and the ringing cell phone takes precedence over me. ~Commence rant~ Um, excuse me? Am I invisible once the phone begins ringing? Do I no longer matter? Is my company so boring or meaningless that you MUST interrupt our conversation and ignore me while talking to someone you can call later??? After all, people DID survive before they could be tracked down at all hours of the night and day. ~End rant~Yet despite my obvious annoyance at the heretofore mentioned scenario, there is something that makes me even crazier, and that, my friends, is when people talk on a cell phone in a public bathroom. That is just incomprehensible to me. Do you really want your friend or loved one to be an auditory witness to your potty break....or mine? Really? Well, I certainly don't! But it happens all the time. I've tried to ignore the elevator talkers and the grocery store arguments I've witnessed via the cell phone. I've even tried to overlook the movie goers and airplane passengers who refuse to turn off their idols, er....phones. But I draw the line at cell phone bathroom talkers. It's. Just. Plain. Wrong.
Yesterday as I was taking a potty break a lady walked in mid-conversation and proceeded to keep talking while both of us were trying to pee. Was I wrong to wish for some privacy? As she was droning on and on at a decibel level sure to inflict hearing loss on anyone within a 10-foot radius, she proceeded to dissect a divorcing couple's marriage. Friends of hers apparently, although I use the term "friend" loosely since I would be livid if one of my friends did that to me.
So now I am privy to the information that Jack and Jill (not their real names) are in the midst of a nasty separation and that divorce is imminent. It's all Jill's fault too, at least according to the anonymous cell phone talker. Jack says Jill is a *!@#* and apparently this lady agreed. Of course, her own marriage is S O L I D as a rock because she and Carlos (his real name) do not suffer the same communication issues. That may change if he ever discovers that his wife is discussing their marriage while taking a pee in a public bathroom!
But even worse was the fact that in the middle of this conversation, she did the one thing I was dreading the most, yes ladies and gentlemen.....she flushed.....and then continued talking without skipping a beat. I was blushing and determined not to exit the stall until I knew for certain she was long gone. I was worried that my face would betray my horror at what she had done. Or that I would tell her off for making someone else an auditory witness to my potty break. There are still some things that should remain private. So, for all of you bathroom cell phone talkers out there, please for the love of all things human, let me pee in peace!
