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Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Turning Old

I knew it the moment it happened - the moment I turned old. It was last weekend while having dinner with friends. I found myself inexplicably discussing the results of my recent blood work. I did the same thing two more times last week and sealed my fate. Young people just don't do that! Since when did dinner conversation include cholesterol levels???? Since I turned old....

Of course, I've also noticed other signs of age. I now sport numerous "light black highlights" in my formerly jet black hair. I fear I'm beginning to resemble Lily from "The Munsters" because I have a definite white streak. Reading is torture if the lighting is not just right so I now use 3 industrial strength lights, making my apartment resemble a stadium. I also sense that bifocals are imminent because apparently my arms have shrunk and I am no longer able to hold a book at a far enough distance to actually see the words. Then there is all the creaking and popping that occurs when I stand up - especially if I've been sitting on the floor, but I'm not complaining because at least I can still get off of the floor!

If you happen to be one of the lucky ones who catches me lapsing into middle age lingo during dinner, tug on your left ear lobe or something to signal me to STOP IT. Subtly redirect the conversation toward a cool rock band or something young and hip and let me pretend that I'm cool.......and not turning old in a few days. Thanks.