Once upon a time I was an aspiring gymnast. Okay, not really, but I DID take a few lessons when I was a wee little thing. I'm sure you can imagine the grace and skill I brought to the sport. Ahem.In all honesty, I was as terrible at gymnastics as I am at most sports. Uneven bars? TER-RI-FIED. The trampoline? Convinced I was going to break my neck, although I outgrew that fear years later. Uneven bars? LET GO of one bar, fly through the air and try to grab the other bar? Um, no thank you. Floor exercises? I barely mastered a somersault, my cartwheels were crooked and roundabouts were ENTIRELY beyond my physical abilities. Then there was the balance beam, the one thing I actually kind of liked and could obsessively practice almost anywhere. The line in a parking lot became an imaginary balance beam. The curb of a sidewalk was a chance for me to attempt walking on something narrow and elevated without falling flat on my face and breaking something.
Sadly none of my practice paid off and almost 40 years later I'm still trying to master the balance beam. Don't get me wrong, I can walk a straight line now and I don't (usually) fall off the curb; however, I do teeter back and forth when it comes to balancing the different responsibilities in my life. It's silly because I don't have as many responsibilities as most people, which makes me feel guilty at how miserably I fail to balance what little I have. No matter, consistency eludes me and I find myself repeatedly falling off the proverbial balance beam, trying desperately to put my life back together again Humpty-Dumpty style.
It was easier when I was younger. I was more driven and could push myself harder. 70-hour workweeks, 10-12 hours of BSF weekly, weekends full of social activities, volunteering at church? No problem. But now that I'm older not only do I lack the desire to push myself so hard, physically I simply cannot do it.
Years of not taking care of myself has led to some health concerns that keep me from living as actively as I once did. My body is tired from years of see-sawing back and forth. Will I treat it as a temple today? Or will it better resemble the local garbage dump?
I was doing so well this time last year, but currently things are completely unbalanced in my life, again. I find myself working late, neglecting my health and generally trying to do more than my body can handle. Perhaps I'm in denial that this annoying auto-immune disease has taken up residence in my body, but it has and I must learn to deal with it so I can live a more peaceful life, not to mention regain my health.
I'm hopeful that with prayer, determination and rest I will regain the precious balance I've been missing lately. If you struggle with balance in your life, then I hope and pray you find it. On the other hand, if you've mastered the skill, can you please teach me? I'm a little desperate! ☺
