Diary of a Staycation~Days 10, 11 & 12

Day 10~Ah, food poisoning, what a lovely way to celebrate the resurrection of Christ. Apparently the French Onion dip the boys and I shared on Friday and Saturday was included in a recall due to Salmonella contamination. Lovely. I'll spare you the details. Needless to say, I skipped church. By the time I arrived at my parent's house with Aunt Myrtle I was feeling somewhat better and decided to partake in lunch with family and friends. Really bad idea. Again, I'll spare you the details. You're welcome.

Despite my GI issues, we had a nice time celebrating Easter with some extra guests, Zach, Serina, Cameron and my mom's friend Erin and her dog Oliver. Following are a few snapshots from our celebration.

Cameron, Zachary and my dad riding in the electric truck:

Cascarone fight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the festivities, Bethany came home with me to spend the night and watch a movie, she naively thought I just had a case of gas. Ha! Poor thing, she tried to play nursemaid in between her texting as I lay on the couch moaning. We did manage to squeeze in a movie, Sherlock Holmes, but then I was spent and had to go to bed. I'm pretty sure she was up all night texting, but that's par for the course since her cell phone was surgically implanted into her hand on her 14th birthday..... I didn't feel too sorry for her because she got what she wanted, but my lips are sealed as to what that was! Let's just say I'm a very cool, good aunt. ;-)

Day 11~I was still sick so after taking Bethany home I canceled my planned trip to Clay Casa with Kaitlyn and went right back to bed. Eventually I got up and drove to get my massage (the birthday gift from my boss) and I'm glad I did because I actually felt better after. And guess what? I let her spend about 30 minutes working on my neck!!! That was a small victory for me and even though she said I was extremely tense it felt so good to have someone work on those 40-year-old knots. I'm considering a part time job so that I can afford regular massages, it's addictive!

Day 12~Another day of nothing. Sleep, movies, reruns of Home Improvement, Everybody Loves Raymond, Friends, Seinfeld. It felt good to be really, really lazy. Staycations rock!

Diary of a Staycation~Days 5, 6, 7, 8 & 9

Day 5~Nothing, and it was blissful. I slept, watched movies, ate, did some laundry. Then I vacuumed and took another nap......or two!

Day 6~It's my birthday, it's my birthday!!!! Oops, internal "plumbing" problems didn't seem to care that it was MY special day. All those visits to the bathroom interrupted my naps! Bummer. But I did manage to squeeze in a movie (District 9) and I received a lot of birthday phone calls.

By 5:30 pm I was better and my parents arrived to treat me to dinner at Tip Top Cafe where my dad and I indulged in Chicken Fried Steak with cream gravy, plumbing be damned! Then we drove around Woodlawn Lake and surprised Serina, Gigi and Cameron as they were eating dinner on their porch. Finally we returned to my apartment and I opened a few presents before they left and I took another nap. Who knew staycations were so exhausting?! ;-)

Day 7~April Food's Day dawned a little too early for me and I made Zeus go back to sleep until 10:00 am, no joke. I didn't have anyone to fool, but Laurie pulled a great prank on her kids. She made blue pancakes for breakfast and told them that her flour must have been moldy, they were completely grossed out!

At noon Serina, Gigi and I met at Bubblehead Tea and enjoyed green tea smoothies. WOW, I had NO idea they would be so good. If you go, try the mango smoothie, you won't be disappointed. We'll definitely be going back for more. Next we made our way to La Frite and were joined by a new friend, Erin. We all enjoyed food, fellowship AND dessert (chocolate tarte) and left quite satisfied. It was a nice, relaxing day.

Day 8~Good Friday was restful as well. I took Zeus for a short walk and then watched a movie before, you guessed it - taking a nap! My nephews arrived at 3:30 pm for a sleepover and we headed to the video store and Blockbuster to stock up on junk food and movies. I made a quick detour to pick up my birthday gift from Lane so I could enjoy it over the weekend. (Thanks Lane, I love it!!) And then I cooked frozen pizzas for the boys and introduced them to Ghostbusters. We laughed and I danced a silly dance to the theme song before launching into "All The Single Ladies" in a chipmunks voice, which completely scandalized my nephews. It was WELL worth my own humiliation to see the looks on their faces!

We finished the night by watching "Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs" and I decided that spray-on shoes are a pretty good idea. By that time I was exhausted because I didn't get my 3rd afternoon nap so I went to sleep. The boys stayed up ALL night watching infomercials and "Lord of the Rings". I remember when I was young enough to recover from an all-nighter, it was a long time ago...

Day 9~Saturday morning we visited Bistro Bakery and picked up fresh eclairs, donut holes and kolaches to eat at the park. Zeus happily sniffed every blade of grass while the boys devoured the food and we enjoyed the cool morning breeze. We went home to gather their belongings and then I stopped by Pasha to pick up some Persian food for my brother and his family. My sister-in-law grew up eating Schwarma in The Netherlands and missed it so I was happy to surprise her with a taste of her childhood.

The evening rolled around and I enjoyed a great movie and Indian food with one of the funniest people I know. It hit the spot, every single spot I have! For those of you who haven't seen "Crazy Heart" let me just say that it was a really touching movie. I was completely engrossed in the story and was really rooting for the characters. The themes of grace and redemption were powerful and the acting was stellar.

All in all I enjoyed rest and relaxation mixed with fun and fellowship and I feel good!

Diary of a Staycation~Days 3 & 4

Day 3~Woke up with a headache but I refused to believe it was a hangover! I skipped church and fell asleep again before rousing myself to get ready for a luncheon at the Mesicks' beautiful home. The food was superb and the company was great. Made some new friends (I hope!) and enjoyed good fellowship and conversation before heading off to run some errands.

When I finally made it home I was pooped and took a long nap. Finally I roused myself and headed to Serina's house for a late night movie with her and Gigi. We chose "The Men Who Stare at Goats" and laughed so hard, it was really funny! Plus it had George Clooney and aside from the eye candy factor, he has turned into a fantastic actor. After the movie Serina and I talked until after 1:00 am, way too late for both of us but something I've missed.

Day 4~Massage used to be a dirty word to me. I just cannot stomach someone I don't know rubbing oil or lotion on my naked body. Ewwww!!! It's just a little too intimate for my taste. And when their hands make their way to my neck, well it's all I can do to not scream out in terror, certain that I will be strangled. (Yes, I have issues.....) So why on God's green earth did I opt for a massage? Well, I was hoping to relax. Too much anxiety in my life lately has taken a toll on my health and I needed to find better ways to cope.

Well, thanks to Groupon.com (check it out, you'll love the deals) I learned about Fijian Barefoot Massage and was able to purchase 2 for the price of 1. Better yet, I could stay clothed and there would be no oil or lotion involved, just a nice lady's feet. Now I know it sounds weird, and I was extremely skeptical, but desperate times call for desperate measures. I entered the dimly lit room and laid on the mat while Jeni cleaned her feet and turned up the ocean waves CD. In no time I was relaxing as she was using her feet to literally walk all over me.

I loved it so much that I booked 2 more sessions, a 90-minute from my boss and the remaining 60-minute massage I had pre-purchased. I can hardly wait for how good I'll feel after!!

Here's the link: http://heelingsole.com/index.html

Diary of a Staycation~Day 2

Day 2~Ah sleep. Thanks to our busy day on Friday Zeus was tired and slept in until 9:00 am on Saturday. I was one VERY happy dog owner!!!! The rest of the day was filled with naps, movies and a short walk before I began getting ready for my birthday party.

Now I will be honest and admit that after weeks of anticipation, I was more than a little nervous, mostly because I find it so awkward to be the center of attention. Gives me the heebie-geebies. So as dorky as it was I actually prayed that I could relax and enjoy the night. And I was able to, with the help of three of Lane's lemon drops! ☺

But I really had no reason to worry because FOR THE RECORD: I have the BEST friends in the entire world. Stephanie and Serina poured their hearts and souls into throwing me a small, intimate 40th birthday party that I would never forget. I was humbled by all of the time, energy and money they spent on me!

Persian food, gorgeous flower arrangements, an Eiffel Tower cake (well, sort of!), a DVD chronicling my life, a surprise phone call with Laurie who got up at 2:00 am German time to talk to me (!), an "Archeology Game" geared to see how well everyone knew me, and a phone-a-friend call to Rhonda to verify the answer. It was special, it was fun and I was overwhelmed with love from people who have known me 20 years to those who have only known me a few.

Thank you to ALL of my friends, even those who were not at my party. My life is richer because of my friendships. I've learned how to love better, judge less and enjoy more because of you. Thank you, thank you, thank you for allowing me to be a part of your lives!!! I LOVE YOU!!!

Diary of a Staycation~Day 1

I always thought I'd celebrate my 40th birthday in Europe, but as is the case with most of my dreams, it was not meant to be. No exotic vacation in a foreign locale. Nope, instead last Friday I began an extended "staycation" with the goal of resting, relaxing and healing this suddenly old body!

So here are some of the things that have been keeping me busy:

Day 1 ~ I did not accomplish any of my stated goals. I was on the move early and after dropping Zeus off at my parents' house I took my car in for a 4-hour oil change/recall repair. The dealer rented a car for me so I could run my errands, but would only rent another Toyota. Would you believe that the Enterprise Rental Car next door was fresh out of Toyotas? ☺ But not to worry, the chatty clerk located a Toyota on WW White and proceeded to drive me to that location to pick up the car.

As I drove off in my rented Corolla I promptly.........got lost. Surprise, surprise! For those of you as unfamiliar with the area as I, let's just say that it's not exactly welcoming. In fact, it can be downright scary, especially if you get lost. I was almost downtown before I realized that I was headed the wrong way. But I didn't panic, I'm so used to getting lost that I've trained myself to laugh, turn up the radio and turn the car around!

After finding my way I refinanced my car before paying the nice lady at Forum Nails to change my toenail polish. Next I ended up at the mall, purchased some new clothes and spontaneously decided to get my face "threaded". If you've never seen it, check out this video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jnd83vwhUA0 To be honest it hurt terribly, but my face is now as smooth as a baby's bottom and my eyebrows look smokin' hot. Okay, not really, but they do look groomed, which is better than how they looked before!

I wrapped up my day by eating some pretty bad Chinese food at the mall and picking up my newly serviced and repaired Camry. (So happy I bought the Camry instead of the Corolla!) I arrived at my parents' house to a very excited puppy and hung out with my nephews before we made a dinner delivery to my dad who was working late at the park.

It was after dark when I arrived home and although I didn't exactly rest or relax, I did accomplish a lot of "business" which freed me up to enjoy the next 11 days. It was fun to see my family and hang out with my talkative nephew (the older one is too cool to talk to me for long), all in all it was a productive day and my dog was so tired he went right to sleep when we got home!

Observations From The Top Of The Hill

►I now qualify for that creepy "end of life" insurance
♥ I'm considering a move to "Cougar Town"
→Mammograms are mandatory - squish, squish!
☺I look MUCH worse but I care MUCH less.... :-)
→↓ I still feel 26.....
....until I look in the mirror, sigh
→↓ Single at 40 is harder AND easier than single at 26....
....but I never get carded anymore
►Acne? Seriously?
→I often hurt myself by the sheer act of........SLEEPING
►Retirement planning suddenly seems much more important
→Life before computers, Internet, DVDs, cell phones, iPods, texting and TIVO was less complicated
☺Under eye concealer is my friend
•Migraines are not my friend
►I watched MTV kill the radio star when I was 11
→↓ I don't really care so much anymore about what others think of me......
.....as a result self-confidence is much easier to embrace
☺I'm worth the occasional pedicure
►Gray hair is more wiry than black hair
♥ Innocence is beautiful
☼Beauty is innocence
→One piece of quality clothing beats five pieces from Wal-Mart
►Fresh flowers are worth every, single penny
☺Money is no object when it comes to comfortable shoes, even if they're ugly!
→ Travel really does broaden your horizons
►Honest faith is better than religious perfection
♥ I know that my redeemer lives....
♥♥ I know that I am loved ♥♥

One Block At A Time

This week I had my (hopefully) final appointment with my foot doctor, aka podiatrist. Ugh, just admitting that I see a "podiatrist" makes me feel old! But I digress, the point of my visit was to determine when I would finally be free of my cast, affectionately nick-named Frankenfoot. After 3 months I am more than ready to wear normal shoes again. I'm also eager to start exercising, I miss my long neighborhood walks and it has been especially difficult to sit inside this week with temps in the 70s.

So here's the verdict: I can slowly begin weaning myself out of the cast beginning with 1 hour of freedom the first day, then 2 hours the next day, 3 hours the day after and so on. Dr. G also gave me the go ahead to begin taking my daily walks if I'm pain-free after wearing real shoes full time. I was so excited, until he told me to start by walking only one block.

What???? ONE BLOCK?!?! Seriously? I wondered if he was joking but no, he wasn't. He was very clear that if I overdid it again I would end up back in the cast. One block for a few days, then 2 blocks for a few days, then 3 blocks and so on.

I don't know why the healing process is so slow. All I know is I can only go one block at a time if I want my foot to heal properly. One block at a time to strengthen the muscle, increase flexibility and build stamina. One block.

It seems like most of the healing we desire is slow and tedious. Very few of us find instantaneous healing for whatever ails us.

Community healing comes from rebuilding dilapidated buildings one brick at a time. It comes from rebuilding tense race relations one friendship at a time. It comes from rebuilding the economy one job at a time.

Relational healing comes from one conversation at a time. It comes from building trust one action at a time. It comes from being known one story at a time.

Spiritual healing comes from one gut-wrenching prayer at a time. It comes from one display of grace at a time. It comes from one moment of worship at a time.

Emotional healing comes from one tiny step of acceptance at a time. It comes from one tear at a time.

But eventually healing comes, no matter how painful the process. It comes. Now if you'll excuse me I need to prop up my throbbing foot, I walked more than one block today. Oops! ;-)

Pat Robertson Does Not Represent Me!

I saw the news alert yesterday afternoon. A 7.0 magnitude earthquake in Haiti, far, far away from my cozy office in Stone Oak. I was too busy at work to take the time to check into the story further, but once I did I was stunned. I'm always overwhelmed at the damage an earthquake can cause, especially in such a short amount of time. I understood President Obama's sentiment when he made the following comment in his statement earlier today:

"for a country and a people who are no strangers to hardship and suffering, this tragedy seems especially cruel and incomprehensible."

Many people who walk in much more conservative circles than I have voiced their disbelief that our President would categorize this disaster as cruel. Others, like Pat Robertson, immediately looked to blame the very people who have literally crumbled under the weight of this disaster. And it makes me angry and ashamed to be so horribly represented by those who share my faith.

This is a time for action, not semantics and theology lessons. I am fairly convinced that during his earthly ministry Jesus would have immediately responded with love AND action. He would not have stopped to consider if the words used to describe such incomprehensible devastation were appropriate, because ultimately there are no words that can describe the physical and emotional devastation that occurred. He would have understood that the suffering feels cruel to those in the middle of it. Neither do I believe that he would have tried to claim that a "pact with the devil" cursed millions of people and led to a natural disaster in the poorest nation in our hemisphere.

As a Christian, I am commanded to follow the example of Christ. Period. Politics and theology are better served in a different time and place. Although I cannot travel to the site of the disaster I can give money and supplies to the reputable charities tasked with providing aid. Please, if you have the means consider making a monetary donation. If you believe in the power of prayer, please offer your prayers, laments or groans to the one who can make something beautiful from the ashes.

Here are a few of my favorite charities:

http://www.compassion.com/

http://www.samaritanspurse.org/

Arrivederci

I really wanted to write a positive, hopeful post full of sage advice and achievable yet lofty goals, but then I remembered that there is precious little wisdom floating around in my stream of consciousness. And lofty goals? I gave those up after I failed to meet ANY of them in the past decade. Besides, when I TRY to write something meaningful it usually falls into the "what the heck is wrong with that girl?" category, so why bother?

Here's the truth, right now I'm sad because in saying goodbye to the first decade of the 21st century, I'll soon be saying goodbye to my 30s. It's not that turning 40 is all that upsetting - aging IS the goal - and I don't have a death wish. No, it's not the number that bothers me it's not having what I thought I would have by the time that number defined me.

Have you ever heard the saying, "When God closes a door He opens a window"? I guess that's true, except when it isn't. He not only closed the door to my dreams He proceeded to put bars and blackout shades on the windows. And let me tell you, that glass is shatter-proof. The only thing that shattered when I tried to break it was my heart.

Instead of love and marriage and the baby carriage I have, um, well, hm. Oh, oh, oh I have a job and a puppy and a new car!!! All things I love and need, ALL things for which I thank God humbly and frequently, but none of them are the deepest desires of my heart. Don't get me wrong, I do love my job (mostly), and I have amazing friends and many family members close by, but I still live my life in isolation. And my puppy is adorable, affectionate and fun, but he fails to give me the kind of companionship and intelligent conversation I crave. Plus his kisses don't really do it for me, aside from the fact that he isn't human HE EATS HIS OWN POOP. Enough said. To top it off I never did finish college and make something of myself. I just settled into a middle class, dull life that affords me a new car every 10 years or so mixed in with the occasional travel adventure so I don't die of boredom. I've got mediocrity instead of passion and purpose. I often look at my life and wonder, "What's the point?"

This is the spot in the post where I should wrap everything up with a nice little bow. Insert an encouraging Bible verse. Write about how God only has my best interests at heart. State that I'm okay because He's all I need. Sigh. I guess I just don't know how to believe that in this moment of grief. And that's okay. I'm pretty sure that God is much more likely to show himself when I get brutally honest and admit my despair. So off I go to try to figure out how to "do" this life I didn't plan.

I'll end with a link to a blog post that made me laugh until I cried today. The comments are funnier than the blog, and I'm tickled pink that my own comment made an appearance early on. Enjoy!

http://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/01/being-single-during-christmas-at-church/#idc-cover

P.S. - Happy New Year!

Spoiled (Un)rotten

Over the years I have received many nice presents. Gifts that touched me and made me grateful for all of the love and thoughtfulness that went into choosing them.

Even the hot pink, barbie blow-up couch given by my niece several years ago, because even though she was little she still wanted to give me a gift that meant something to her.

But this Christmas season I've literally been spoiled with gifts. In a good way. And I like it. A lot.

This is the first year that I've felt confident enough to let a few people know all (okay most) of me, even the messy, extremely ugly parts. And their gifts were thrilling because they spoke to my deepest passions, because the givers knew me well enough to choose things I would love. Things I would never ask for because they seemed too extravagant or expensive, or maybe because I didn't even know I wanted them in the first place.

But as much as those tangible gifts meant to me, as special and loved as I felt because of them, they pale in comparison to the intangible gifts I received.

Gifts of time. Patience. Silence. Touch. Support. Commitment. Grace. Mercy. Encouragement. Celebration. Love.

I am fairly certain that I would not have survived 2009, one of the most difficult years of my life, without the people who offered those things to me when I could not offer them in return.

I would not have survived the intensity of emotions. I would not have survived the memories. I would not have survived the sadness. I would not have survived the fear. I would not have survived facing reality. I would not have survived facing the demons of my past. I would not have survived my faith. I would not have survived myself.

I would not have survived.

Not without the hours of ridiculously long telephone conversations where I was allowed to whine, vent, laugh and cry until I was spent.

Not without the freedom to explore the truth of my story, to literally revisit my past without the fear of rejection in the present. Not without fellowship, food and fun. Not without warm hugs. Not without pursuit and perseverance when I was frustratingly stubborn or withdrawn.

Not without extravagant love.

Not without living, breathing models of the love of Christ in action. No judgment. No criticism. No "I told you so". No "shoulds". No abandonment. No pressure to perform.

Just loyalty, truth, grace and above all love.

Those are the unexpected gifts that have carried me. The gifts for which I am externally grateful. The gifts I cherish the most. Merci.